Hulver's site || Comments || Words about Three Words

six words is not a lot by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 05:59:40 PM EST

Your story was hard to sum up in that contrived format. The dialogue was well done, as so many others said. I liked the narrator, and could imagine Judith falling for him. I wanted them to work out, so was willing to overlook the fact that it comes together far too quickly, just for the reassurance that it does work out. I liked that the "three words" start off as the three you'd think they'd be, but at the end, are three different words that mean the same thing in their own idiolect. Lots of little things that worked well.

--
"If we build it, will they come, and what will they do when they get here?" -- iGrrrl

She didn't expect to fall for him by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 09:10:47 PM EST

Also, I didn't do much (besides the comment on her nails) to indicate just how much time passed between restaurant and ring. It would have been at least a year, and probably two. But cool. I'm glad it worked for you. Will you and persimmon co-host the next one, sometime after November?

-- Do the math.
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I got that by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 09:27:03 PM EST

Both Judith falling in spite of herself, and the passage of (some unspecified amount of) time before the ending. Even if in "story time" it's not a quick turnaround, though, the reader has to make that jump in a short space of ... I dunno what to call it, "text time," I guess. Just part of the overall compressed feeling of the story, which I'm sure would be more successful with a bit more space to stretch in.

persimmon and I will work something out. I think hosting a WFC during NaNoWriMo is not only folly, but we need some time for both writers and readers/voters to bounce back from this one before taking the plunge again. So "after November" sounds fair.

--
"If we build it, will they come, and what will they do when they get here?" -- iGrrrl
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: I just went back and re-read it by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Nov 06, 2006 at 09:32:07 PM EST

I fucked up the restaurant scene. The first half is okay, and the last two paragraphs, but in between it needed less or more. I give myself a B-.
So after November it is.

-- Do the math.
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