O arithmetic one, for hosting the party, although I count 18 stories ;) Don't forget to add the two covers to the poll (we do like those checkboxes, the more the merrier).

--
Do not misuse.

When are you closing the voting? A week? I need to know if I should procrastinate working now or save it for later. ;-)
-----
inspiritation: the effect of irritating someone so much it inspires them to do something about it. --BuggEye

Can't, actually. What I've done in the past is to capture the image of the bar graph showing how the voting stood at the moment the organizer decided enough was enough, and posted that. What I can do, is to replace the front-page poll with something else, so post-voting is less of an attractive nuisance.

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

Because it's raining, and I'm not motivated to make a diagram. I still haven't decided which ones to vote for. My "short" list has 7 stories in it.

Overall Comment: As usual, there was a great deal of variety in terms of approach, but I was somewhat surprised at how serious and/or sad so many of them were. And now for the individual reviews:

1. "Just a Gigolo." I had trouble getting into this story. Some of the writing is dead-on, but it takes too long to move into the plot.
   
2. "Tela." Great imagery, though it seems a bit overdone in places.
   
3. "November, 1978." Really interesting concept. There were some unanswered questions that left me a little frustrated (what was the deal with the taped-up plastic? what was the legacy gift?), but I really liked how the entire society was described without ever talking about the entire society.
   
4. "Grocery List." Really, heartbreakingly sad.
   
5. "The Shellacking." The writing was uneven, but it was an interesting take on the topic.
   
6. "The Party is On." I really dislike non-con fiction, especially when the non-consensual sex is supposed to be titillating. I have to admit that I only skimmed the end, since I saw where it was going and was totally squicked.
   
7. "The Odd Spot." Heh. I liked this one, especially the details that were chosen and the cleverness of much of the writing. For instance, The condiments this time consisted of salt, pepper and a dirty ashtray.
   
8. "Always a Virgin." This one didn't really grab me - the main character wasn't as sympathetic as she needed to be. Nice twist on the "wait 'til you're married" thing, though.
   
9. "Three Words." I'm not sure what to say about this story. The dialogue is dead-on perfect, but the characters don't entirely ring true. I'm not sure exactly why that is.
   
10. "As Is." Interesting concept, though the appearance of the twin seems to come out of nowhere. Uh, literally and literarily. I'm probably missing something.
    
11. "Books of Lost Stories." I think this was a larger idea that could've been better developed. The recognition of the change in priorities could've been made more compelling if we'd been shown rather than just told.
    
12. "Well-Intentioned Modesty." This is a sad story, all the more so for the ending. It also strikes me as a little disturbing, this moment at the end of a life.
    
13. "A Harsh Mistress." I like the interplay of bad porn and bad real-life sex, but the writing is somewhat awkward, and the build-up is too rushed.
    
14. "Universal Fantasy." This story feels authentic. The emotions of the characters, especially the main character's increasing paranoia and the way the one-night-stand plays out, feel true.
    
15. "Selfish Jean." I love the writing in this, and the incredibly vivid language. I have to admit that I don't get it, though. I feel like I should understand what's going on and how one paragraph and section leads to the next. I don't, though.
    
16. "Mont Blanc." This is one of my favorite stories, in part because I completely relate with the food==celebration theme, and the passing along of food rituals.
    
17. "Love Letter." This one didn't grab me. I felt I couldn't identify with the characters - the details about them just weren't enough, and so the emotional content of the letter seemed out of context.
    
18. "Counting Down." This was another one of my favorite stories, once again because I think the overall theme resonates deeply with me. 

-----
inspiritation: the effect of irritating someone so much it inspires them to do something about it. --BuggEye

just a gigilo - I liked the intro, i was hoping it would continue more in that style. The voice of the narrator comes through well. The whole thing has a yesteryear feel about it, like it's set in the 30s, although it's actually set in the 50s, yeah?

Tela - I like that this didn't is this is about sex without being all penthouse forum. Competent. the author is female, no doubt.

November 1978 - I don't get quite get it. is this some weird parallel universe with different mating rules?

Grocery List - dot points is a different idea... I've got nothing against it.

The Shellacking - This is how I thought they'd all turn out. The archetypal HUSI sex story - measured naughtiness and constrained titillation

Three Words - i like this one. The dialogue was authentic for me.

The Party is on - hmmm. very....K5 :) so I'll ask again, is cuntal a word?

The Odd Spot -animal sex? gross.

Always a virgin - this reminds me of the day i woke up and absolutely nothing happened

As is - WTF? i don't quite get it, but it tried!

Books of lost stories - the thousand words you didn't use might have helped me care about Jo.

Well-intentioned modesty - I don't really get it but maybe that's just me. in fact this is the third story i don't really get, so i'm sure it's just me today. the writing style is okay though

A harsh mistress - at least it makes sense. i had to google for Heinlein to understand what Heinlein porn was. kept me reading, anyway.

universal fantasy - I like it. it works for me emotionally and in that regard, i felt neglected with many of the others. well done. this is one of my votes

Selfish Jean - I kind of like this too but i don't really get it

Mont Blanc - Didn't mind this one. bit girly but so am i sometimes.

Love Letter - IT was okay i guess, i think the tone kind of works, but the formatting sucked a bit, like these long lines refusing to wrap.

Counting Down - cool.

I don't have any reviews - I just wanted to drop in my thanks for fellow overly-long named one 2 plus 3 equals 5 for hosting. It was a great theme and I know I had a good time getting something together for contest.

I also wanted to shout out a huzzah to 256 who, in constantly hosting these various FC whoopjamboreehoos (to borrow a word from Mark Twain), has helped create a great space for folks to flex their creative muscles.

Just a Gigolo  I should like this more than I do. 
Tela I want to like this more than I do.
November, 1978  The premise is brilliant. The math is wrong (a one-mating one-child model would mean non-replacement value, and they'd die out), but other implications seem to have been thought through.
Grocery List  So much packed into so little.  Excellent.
The Shellacking  Er, okay.  Hits the porn side of erotica, I guess.
The Party is On  -1 pr0n, wandering point of view and the use of "cuntal passage"
The Odd Spot  This appeared to be two different stories, neither of which I found that interesting. Sorry.
Always a Virgin  But why doesn't anyone hit on her?  Just her choices? Why was the prom date such a gentleman, why was Bill hands-off?
Three Words  Good dialogue. Maybe too much packed into too little space? The bar scene was my favorite.
As Is  It makes me think of an insult used by one of Heinlein's characters in one of the Juvenile novels: "He reproduces by fission, like all bacteria!"
Books of Lost Stories  Interesting idea, but the text is dense.  The ideas can be pulled apart and shown, rather than gien an academic description.
Well-Intentioned Modesty  I shouldn't like this, but I do. Okay, there's no reason I shouldn't like this except for the death bit. Well, okay, that's the whole point of the story, so I guess I like it. Creative ambiguity through it, without tripping the WTF? meter.
A Harsh Mistress  I loved this one, but I'm a Heinlein geek. This was funny, in a cringe-producing way.  I don't want a girlfriend like that.
Universal Fantasy  I couldn't read this the first time I tried.  It's still hard to read. There are some great phrases, very good sentences, but the whole isn't put together as well as it could be.
Selfish Jean  Selfish me. I stopped reading at 'dipthongized'.  Too consciously literary for me to follow.
Mont Blanc  Excellent. Subtle.
Love Letter  I couldn't read this the first time, but I made myself go back. The formatting is annoying, but it's not as bad as I feared. Made me feel like an emotional voyeur, and not about people I wanted to know that much about.
Counting Down  Did I miss something? I like the second part, but have no idea what it has to do with the first part, which is also pretty good.

-- Do the math.

Possibly the best yet.

My entries are sitting on my harddrive, soaking in red ink metadata. Maybe next time.

---

"I'm very responsive to certain stimuli, and pain is pretty much at the top of that list." - BadDoggie

Just a Gigolo

Perhaps this would make more sense to me if I were familiar with the song. Overwitten bar intro, mediocre sex, much disjointment.

Tela

Takes way, way too long to say "virgin thinks sexy dance is sexier than sex".

November, 1978

Been accused of writing it, but I can only wish. Lovely, though I can't quite work the math out. I appreciate the grin behind the quotes (and the names on them), but I think one would have sufficed to hang the story on, maybe a bit later than the first paragraph. Voted.

Grocery List

Sad, but sparse. Crappily formatted.

The Shellacking

Penthouse Forum: now with tense shifting!!!

The Party is On

Badly written, and puts no perspective on the sex. Looky, I can write about rape! I can use words like "cuntal" and "demonical"!

Odd Spot

I liked the dodgy hotel. Then it didn't go anywhere.

Always A Virgin

Chick who wanted sex never got it. Meh.

Three Words

Almost voted. Nicely paced, well-written dialogue (penis breath!), but the abuse/nails as armor/works out in the end doesn't quite click for me.

As Is

Binary fission is, definitionally, not sex. Also, I'm bad Ash.

Books of Lost Stories

This is about archived bad writing, not sex.

Well-Intentioned Modesty

A spare history, but more fleshed out than the grocery list. I liked the ending, although I think I may have read part of this before. Voted.

A Harsh Mistress

Hottest scene involving flaccid penis I've ever read. Also, Heinlein. Voted.

Universal Fantasy

Meh.

Selfish Jean

Jumpy like a wallaby. Refers to genitalia as "sex", which I hate. The pun annoys me.

Mont Blanc

I liked the McWilliams bit, and I liked the cooking stuff, but it felt like filler after I finished. Ending seemed tacked on.

Love Letter

This is about love, not sex. If it were about sex, I wouldn't want to read it. It's bland and effusive.

Counting Down

This is about time, not sex.

-----
_{"Nature is such a fucking plagarist."}

that is all.

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

Impressive variety this time (do I always say that?) -- and no zombies! (Whew.) I think that opinions on these will be very subjective, so I'll just make very brief comments on them. I'll add more detail in response to post-mortems afterwards.

1. Just A Gigolo Elements didn't quite jell for me.
2. Tela I agree with toxicfur on this.
3. November, 1978 The WFC [neck|head]-bite tradition lives!
   (More seriously: Intriguing concept, evocative, slightly frustrating ending.)
4. Grocery List Heartache in 321 Words. Damn you.
5. The Shellacking Narrator keeps pointing out his mistakes.
6. The Party Is On All I can say is: Ugh.
7. The Odd Spot Enjoyed the wry humor. Poor Kevin.
8. Always A Virgin Found it too full of cliches.
9. Three Words Liked it; can't easily explain why.
10. As Is "Diaspora"-esque, but doesn't work this time.
11. Books of Lost Stories Meta story. Tricky. Execution seems hurried.
12. Well-Intentioned Modesty A touching story (no pun intended).
13. A Harsh Mistress Excruciating. Meant to be, I think.
14. Universal Fantasy Wouldn't say "universal," but it's good.
15. Selfish Jean Disjointed. Good moments, but the ending ...?
16. Mont Blanc So oblique, almost misses the theme.
17. love letter fine, but a little one-note.
18. Counting Down Nice take on time and mortality.

--
Do not misuse.

This isn't my usual scene; feel free to just damn ignore any harshness. I also leave a few out.

Just A Gigolo. I like the premise of basing it on a song. Works.

Tela. Again, liked the belly dancer premise. Both of these worked too, they weren't just

cool ideas.

November, 1978. I like the (surely altered?) quote that starts it off ... actually I like

the whole damn thing. Parallel universes. Atwood meets Philip K Dick. It also does terribly

well at writing about sex without having any pornotastic action. My pick.

Grocery List. I don't know if using lists is a cheap literary fix born of our crude bullet

pointed age, or a sly ambush on the inarticulacy of remorse. At any rate, you hit me right

between the ribs.

The Odd Spot. I like the aesthetic of mediocrity in this story. I was hoping against hope

this would end with a final hopeful uptick, but I guess that's my problem not yours.

Always a Virgin. Hey, you kept me reading even though sentimental short stories about 60

year old virgins are well outside my literary comfort zone. But "never to be seen again"?

Ack.

Three Words. This story fits together well ... nothing in it clangs the bell of disbelief.

Well Intentioned Modesty. Works.

A Harsh Mistress. Meditations on squirming.

universal fantasy. Kind of made me want to start smoking. Lemon sour not milk sour.

Selfish Jean. I'm sympathetic to the ambition of this, and the fragmentation does work in

one way, but in another way the story ends up kind of, um, fragmented. Is the surfacing and

resurfacing of words and memes meant to echo the rearrangement of genetic material in

sexual reproduction? Not sure.

Mont Blanc. "The first time Aaron ever tasted my Mont Blanc". Very clean, finished story.

love letter. ee cummings was a nazi . "or that the glass would be way better if i could

smash it into a million billion sharp glittering shards and drink straight from the

bottle."

Counting Down. Kind of the opposite of the pardoned from hanging effect then.


_{The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo}

Mont Blanc

The first time Aaron ever tasted my Mont Blanc was Christmas at my parents'
house

dessert belongs entirely to me, and it is always creme caramel.

On Christmas Day Aaron splits logs out back and then prepares the fireplace
while I score Xs on the bottom of each chestnut.

extract all traces of the slightly fuzzy skin that lies beneath, using a myriad
of pointed tools to get between all the crevices.

The act of chopping firewood, according to Aaron, the repetitive act puts
him in a Zen-like state of mind, so he says.

It's slow, meticulous work to reveal the delicate flesh
within,. . .my fingernails keeping me from being present in the moment.

I remember more clearly the look on Aaron's face, and the exclamation that came from his lips after the first bite, somewhere between "Wow," and "Ohhh."

Counting Down

That moment when I realized that all finite lengths of time are equal.

Well I think we all have a pretty good idea who wrote Mont Blanc, and I for one commend her for being more daring than she had intimated she would be. "The first time Aaron ever tasted my Mont Blanc was Christmas. . ."  Frankly, I stand in awe.

I don't know that the ending is "tacked on," although it is sentimental. Well, I can deal with that. Where else do we think babies come from? Sex is sex, so no foul: sex is allowed to be sentimental. In this story we get pr0n, a sympathetic comment on a mother's menopause, and a baby. I think this writer pretty much covered all the bases.

"So oblique, nearly misses the theme." Hardly.

As for "Counting Down," I have no idea who wrote it. It's a story about time and memory and the philosophy that "all events are equal", but it's also about sex, no doubt about it. This story drew me into it, made me want to jump in and stop the narrator from wrecking everything good around him. But you can't do that. They're fictional people in the words on the screen.

I have a very distinct memory of my friend Jeff Collins telling me, after a few pitchers of beer in a bar known as the Rock, short for Shamrock, in Clinton, NY, in February 1973, "Two years is a long time. Two years is nothing at all" (snapping his fingers to make the point). A few hours later, drunk, I filled out my application to the Peace Corps and dropped it in the mail. Three months after that I was in Africa, and She Who Once Owned my Heart was far, far away. So maybe I voted for this story merely because I identified with its doomed protagonist.  In any event, I liked it.

Buy my books, dammit!

November, 1978

fantastically realized SF/horror. i think the dawkins paraphrase at the start is laying it on a bit thick, but that's totally forgiveable. the oblique angle from which the most interesting parts are viewed, leaving the reader wanting more, yet at the same time not feeling cheated, is somewhat reminiscient of the Resurrection Men. just saying.

The Odd Spot

i had a bit of trouble buying the woman's desperation, but this one won me over entirely on the weight of the description of the motel room. also the ending was so neatly wrapped up that it appealed to my sense of symmetry.

A Harsh Mistress

i'm not convinced i enjoyed this story. it was well crafted, but the awkwardness was too palpable for reading it to be fun. still, it gets a vote purely on the merit of having caused me to have a heinleinian sex dream the night after reading it.

love letter

i can really empathise with the longing.

yeah, i voted for four stories. what are you going to do about it?
---
_{I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni}

The heart of the story should involve a unacknowledged pun.  That is to say, a horse does walk into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" -- except the pun is never acknowledged in the story and the horse explains that he is sad because his pet hamster died.  The pun is just there for the reader to read into the situation and appreciate, but is never stated outright.
____________________________________
I'm sorry, but your facts disagree with my opinion.

Grocery List and Mont Blanc tie!

-- Do the math.